May I Have Your Attention Please!!!

 

Attention all Comedians at heart!!! I'm now accepting jokes! All submissions must be clean. I will not accept jokes that are vulgar. 

This is the time to show the world your funny bone! 

 

Jokes can be anything that is fun and innocent. Nothing political or religious.  Make your jokes fun and silly. Don't hold back! 

 

Have fun! 

 

I will put your name under your joke and where you are from. For example: Seth from Brazil.  

  

Use the contact form on the blog to send in your jokes! This offer will expire December 31st! Hurry while offers last!

 

Super Jokes For Super Kids

 

Why was the Flash great at telling jokes? He was really fast when it came to the punchlines! 

Did you hear Batman got dizzy bird watching? Yeah, there were too many Robins around!

Why did Superman fly into outer space in the 1960s? He wanted to be far out! 

 

Did you the hear the Incredible Hulk hated to go to school? Yeah, he had to learn to deal with his temper!

 

Did you hear Spiderman is always on the internet? Yeah, he's searching for a web of crime! 

 

 

Bible Word Scramble

 

 https://bibleversenow.org/bible-games/word-scramble

 

 

A Bear Called Paddington - Michael Bond

 

Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne read by Phil Chenevert | Full Audio Book

 

When I Pray

 

My Sarcastic Turtle

It was autumn and my turtle wanted to grow a prize winning pumpkin. Instead our neighbor won the contest. I joked and told my turtle, "Don't be green with envy!"

I thought my joke was funny. My turtle did not.  

 

My turtle colored my face orange and drew a clown on it. Then he made me stand in his pumpkin patch to scare away scarecrows. 

Now when my turtle wants to grow a prize winning pumpkin and loses I just tell him winning second place isn't so bad.

I have a very sarcastic turtle.  

Don't Knock Knock My Jokes

 

A mouse was sitting quietly in his mouse hole when he heard someone knocking on the front door. He peeked his head out. "Who is it?" he timidly asked.

"Knock knock," a mean voice answered back.

The mouse tensed up. The voice belonged to a cat."Who is it?" he dared to ask again.

"Cat."

The mouse winced. "Cat who?"

"I'm gonna catcha very soon!"

The mouse panicked and called a friend. Soon his friend arrived and stood on the inside of the front door. He knocked on the door.

The cat standing outside, thinking it was the mouse, answered with a sly grin: "Who is it?"

"Dog Pound!"

The cat stopped grinning and gulped when he heard the dog's voice. "Dog Pound who?" he gulped again.

"Dog gonna pound the cat in the next two seconds!"

The cat screamed and ran away.

The mouse thanked the dog for saving him with a joke: "Knock knock!" 

"Who's there?" the dog smiled.

"Feline."

"Feline who?" the dog asked.

"That mean cat sure made a feline out of here!"

Don't Judge My Jokes

 

Why did the judge have a drive thru put in? He wanted order in the court!

How did judges go to the bathroom before toilets were invented? They used chamber pots! 

Did you hear the judge like to talk a lot? Yeah, he had a gift of gavel!

Did you hear the judge thought he was better than everyone else? Yeah, he served on the Superior Court!

Did you hear the jurors had a bad time in court? Yeah, they all felt boxed in!

Did you hear the layer hurt his foot? Yeah, his case was dropped! 

Why was everyone so tired in court? Because all the witnesses had to stand! 

Did you hear a skydiver went to jail? Yeah, but he bailed out!

How does a lawyer win a fast case in court? He makes sure to bring his brief case!

Did you hear a dog got taken to court? Yeah, but he 'Peed Innocent'!  

I Am Wonderfully Made

 

Insect Jokes Here (For Children)

 

Why was the Lighting Bug so smart? He always had a lot of bright ideas! 

Why was the insect so tired? He was spent all day bugging people! 

Did you hear the spider became famous? Yeah, it was all over the Web!

Why did the ladybug fly into a car? It was looking for its manhood!

 

Did you hear the bee was great at giving shots? Yeah, his patients never felt a single sting! 

 

 

Walking with God

 

Time To Unclog The Jokes

 

Did you hear the plumber went straight to bed after work? Yeah, he was really drained! 

Why did the student fail plumbing school? His mind was always clogged up! 

Why did the plumber wear a crown to the bathroom? He always had a Royal Flush! 

Why was the plumber afraid to go into his bathroom? There were too many plumbing snakes in it!

What does a plumber eat his cereal in? A toilet bowl! 

Did you hear the plumber put on a concert in his bathroom? Yeah, he had plenty of bagpipes! 

Did you hear the plumber was bored? Yeah, time just dripped by! 

How does a plumber send a love letter? He writes it on toilet paper! 

Why did the plumber go to the zoo? Because he needed a monkey wrench for his job! 

Why was the bathroom so funny? The toilet was always overflowing with jokes! 

 

One small deed

 

Lets make a Bracha

All year long (Uncle Moishy)