Blow Me Down, It's a Popeye Joke

Picture from Free Clip Art 

Popeye was preparing to cook a great meal, only he was missing one very important thing. "I need to go to the grocery store!" he told himself.

He went to the grocery store and explored every single aisle. "Blow me down, what I need ain't here!" 

Popeye went to a second grocery store and then a third. What he needed wasn't at any of the grocery stores. He went home wondering what to do. 

"Now I can't cook the food," he fretted.

Then the door bell rang. Popeye answered the door. When he saw who the visitor was he yelled: "Blow me down, you're just what I need!"

"What are you talking about?" the guest asked in a confused voice.

Popeye grabbed the guest and ran her into his kitchen and exclaimed with a big smile: "I need some Olive Oyl to cook with! You arrived just in time!" 

 

A Cold Front is Bringing In These Jokes

 

Did you hear the banker was cold? Yeah, his accounts were frozen! 

Did you hear the first-aid kit wanted to play hockey? Yeah, it wanted to belong to a good ice pack!  

Why did the snowman get made fun of? It had a really bad frost bite! 

Why didn't Santa Claus let his reindeer go to Diary Queen on Christmas Eve? All the reindeer wanted Blizzards!

Why couldn't the snowman ever perform on stage? He always got cold feet!

Why were all the criminals so cold? They were always being told to freeze!

Why did the sun love going to the North Pole? It loved to make a slushy! 

Did you hear all the cows got caught outside in the cold? Yeah, all they could make were milk shakes!

Did you hear the snowman wanted to start eating healthy? Yeah, it started to eat corn flakes!

Did you hear the snowman became a famous comedian? Yeah, but he could only perform inside of ice rinks!  

 

Happiness

 

The Happy Mechanic Joke (For the Kids and Parents)

 

Ralph was a very kind and caring mechanic. One day a sad car came into his garage. The car tried to joke with him but didn't do a very good job. 

"I might be an Oldsmobile, but I'm as wild as a Ford Mustang and I spark like a Buick Electra...well...sort of."

Ralph felt bad for the car. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked.

"I've got a runny hose and my I'm overheated...get it." The car just sighed.

"Is there anything else wrong?" the mechanic asked in a concerned voice.

"My spark plugs are wrinkled and I've got a lot of gas," the car shook his head. His jokes came out miserable. 

The mechanic felt awful for the car. "Is there anything else?" 

The car groaned. "I guess I can't steer you into laughing at my jokes."

The mechanic felt really bad that the car was so sad. "Well, let me take a look under the hood."

"I wouldn't. The only thing running under there is me when I tell my jokes. Nobody likes my sense of humor. They throw tomatoes at me."

"You can't be that bad," the mechanic tried to cheer the sad car up. 

The car started to cry. It sprayed windshield cleaner all over the mechanic. "My windshield wipers can't even wipe away my tears!"

The mechanic wiped water off his shirt. "This is serious. I better take a look and see what's wrong."

The mechanic took a look under the hood. It only took a minute to see what the real problem was. "There. All fixed," he announced after a while. "Now everyone will love your jokes again!"

"What was the problem? the car asked in a happy voice.

"Oh, nothing serious. Your timing was off. That's all. Now you can be funny again!" 

The car honked its horn in joy and sped away. The mechanic laughed. "Yep, a good joke requires perfect timing." 

 

A Mouth Full Of Jokes

 

Did you hear the dentist like water sports? Yeah, he liked to paddle through a root canal!

What does a dentist give his patients as a treat? Gummi bears!  

Why doesn't a chef go near a dentist? The dentist has a lot of food extracts!

Did you hear the dentist was very, very smart? Yeah, he had tons of wisdom teeth!

Why did the dentist think he was a king? He had plenty of crowns!

What does a dentist put in his pie? Dental filling!

Did you hear the dentist took a second job? Yeah, he became a drill sergeant!

Did you hear the dentist hated to look messy? Yeah, he always kept his teeth brushed! 

Why didn't the dentist say a word when he was in shock? Oh, he was just too numb to talk!

Why doesn't the dentist like teeth to be funny? He's worried they might crack a joke!